The Giant Pit, Upstate NY - After three weeks of living in the giant pit, local pit resident, Paul Munn, told reporters that life down there wasn’t nearly as bad as he had first imagined it would be. “A lot of guys complained in the beginning, but now that we’ve settled in I’d have to say that digging a big hole in the ground and then throwing in all of the men wasn’t such a bad thing.” Sources around the lip of the pit wrinkled their collective noses and said that it smelled decidedly sweaty down there, but then it’s a whole bunch of guys in a pit, so what’d you expect.
Kim Hollis and Paula Cee, two of the original women who came up with the idea for the pit, said that they occasionally had need of a man, but it was easy enough to fish one out with a hook, put him to work for however long they needed him, and then throw him back in afterwards. “Doesn’t really matter which one you get,” said Hollis. “They’re all pretty interchangeable.”
Some grumblings could still be heard from the occupants of the pit, but even they grudgingly conceded that the world was a much nicer, prettier, and better smelling place than it had been before. “Yeah, sure I miss holding doors open. And I miss carrying shopping bags around for hours,” said Munn, “but it’s all for the greater good.” As an afterthought, Munn added “And sunlight. I miss sunlight.”
At press time a huge argument could be heard from outside the pit, prompting all the men within earshot to breathe a sigh of relief and scratch their stomachs in unison, secure in the knowledge that there was no conceivable way that they could be blamed for whatever it was that all the shouting was about.
