Ithaca, NY - Comfortably occupying the top spot in the food chain and lord of all he surveyed, local apex predator, Paul Munn, complained to reporters that his recent paper cut was really painful and seemed to rub against everything he touched.
Although vastly superior to many members of his own species in both strength and intellect, Munn appeared to be incapable of avoiding constantly irritating it, “Jesus! It’s in the worst place possible on the tip of my finger.”
Sources close to Munn reported that he was actually a huge wuss and total feeb'. “He always sits down to pee, he can’t drink more than two beers without getting a hangover, and God forbid you should have to be around him when he has a minor sore throat. You’d think he was dying.”
At press time, Munn was sucking the offending digit like a little baby, after striking a key too hard while writing this blog post.
