Evil Paul Munn’s blog identical to original except for, y’know, being evil

Evil Ithaca, Evil Parallel Universe - A version of Paul’s News In Brief titled “Evil Paul’s News In Brief”, posted in an evil parallel universe, written by Evil Munn, was found by reporters to be essentially identical to the original except for having the word ‘evil’ prefacing all of the proper nouns.

Upon digging a little deeper, our research department was able to find a couple of extra pictures of Evil Munn with a goatee, but that was pretty much it.

Evil sources told reporters they hadn’t previously been aware of the 'not' evil version, but now that they had had a chance to read both they conceded they were kinda similar, but the evil one was definitely much funnier.

Responding to accusations that all he had done was plagiarize the original Paul’s News In Brief, Evil Munn retorted that Munn stole all his ideas from the Onion’s News In Brief, so c'mon, which of them was really the evil one?

Local superhero unable to think of cool name for newly acquired superpower

Ithaca, NY - Local superhero, Paul Munn, told reporters that his recently discovered ability to always insert USB drives the right way on the first try was somewhat useful, but as superpowers went, incredibly lame.

“I didn’t even get it in a cool way,” he continued. “Y’know, like a highly unstable, experimental quantum computer exploding in my face. Nothing like that... I just got a little static shock while inserting my thumb drive one day, and now I have the world’s most mediocre preternatural skill.”

Sources close to Munn said that he had wanted a superpower for as long as they could remember, even going as far as getting a job in a genetics lab with the express hope that he would be involved in some freak accident.

“They do all this weird messing around with DNA and they use all these really long, scientific words, so you’d think if something was going to go horribly wrong, resulting in a really cool superpower, that’d be the place. But instead, this happens to him...”

“Poor bastard,” sources added.

At press time, Munn still hadn’t settled on a name, but had at least commissioned a skin tight, red and black superhero onesie with the USB 3.0 logo on the chest.

Paul Munn rumored to be top pick for next James Bond

Hollywood, CA - Speculation has been swelling for months over who will take on the iconic roll after Daniel Craig, with a lineup of actors including Idris Elba and Tom Hiddleston under consideration. Michael Fassbender and James Norton had been thought to be among the front runners, after Munn removed himself from the field early in 2016 by declaring he would rather slash his own wrists before boxing himself into a part that would likely typecast him for the rest of his career. However, Sony Pictures' recent offer of $200 million might well have sweetened the pot enough for Munn, and, let's be honest here, an actor with the range and widespread appeal that Munn enjoys would be very unlikely to suffer any long term stagnation. Munn is one of the most distinctive brands in cinema. You know exactly what type of movie you’re getting when you see his name above the credits, and you can be sure that’s really him doing the balcony-jumping, car-chasing and choreographed ass-whupping. He’s the man with the deadliest skills, the maddest stare, the strongest cranium, the graveliest growl. When he punches the air, the air screams in pain. In a recent interview Munn hinted that, if he were to take the part, he would want to put his own spin on the British secret agent, playing Bond as chauvinistic, sweary, vulgar, not very good at being secret, and by no means the sharpest tool in the agency’s box. Basically, everything that James Bond isn’t and the sort of brilliant parody that only an actor like Munn could deliver.