Meaningful eye contact made with cashier at Wegman’s

Ithaca, NY - Part-time runway model, Cornell sociology student and Wegman’s cashier, Joseph Markwell, reportedly stood patiently while customer Amanda Penbrook fumbled with her credit card and stammered awkwardly through what she hoped would pass as casual conversation.

Sources listening in described it as a pathetic attempt on Penbrook’s part to maintain her composure in the presence of Markwell’s God-like physique, also confirming that she blushed visibly when he asked her to swipe her card again as it didn’t go through the first time.

Standing behind Penbrook in line, local customer, Paul Munn, exchanged a quick glance with Markwell, wordlessly conveying that Munn also knew the burden that comes with being a stunningly handsome male specimen. “Enduring the stares and somewhat flustered attentions of multiple middle-aged women is our cross to bear,” the look said.

Speaking with reporters, Munn said he hoped he’d also managed to communicate that the sense of isolation and longing for an ordinary, boring life was something you just had to accept as a part of being exceptionally good looking. However, Munn felt that perhaps some of the nuances of their brief interaction regarding a preference for paper or plastic had been lost on the younger man.

At press time, Penbrook passed Munn in the parking lot while returning her shopping cart and completely failed to even notice him.