Fans in shock as reigning MMA World Champion, Paul Munn, knocked out of running in embarrassing quarter final defeat by Nate Diaz

Complete asshole, Paul Munn, photobombs the eclipse and ruins it for everyone...

Local man convinced he’s the only one that gets the reference to San Junipero in review of Valerian

Ithaca, NY - Moviegoer and occasional Netflix watcher, Paul Munn, undeterred by eye rolling from individuals that shall remain nameless, announced that there was no way anyone state side would’ve watched the episode in question. “Maybe a few people back in England, but absolutely no one over here... ‘cept the two that did the review... but definitely no one else.”

Munn also remained convinced that no one but him had ever heard of Ulrich Schnauss or Mackintosh Braun, despite downloads of their music in the hundreds of thousands, and notwithstanding the fact that Mackintosh Braun sound like a boy-band, so really, why even admit you listen to them?

At press time, long suffering wife, Paula Cee, told reporters that, yes, Munn watched some pretty out there stuff and totally agreed that she had never heard of any of the weird shit he listens to on Pandora.

Man ponders thresholds for interest and relevance while being attacked by shark

Great Barrier Reef, AU - Media attention has focused recently on the enigma that is Paul Munn, with many of our readers wanting to delve deeper into the mind of this rising star in the academic world to find out what motivates him and drives his priorities.

Our reporter was able to obtain an exclusive interview with this hard to reach figure as Munn was being attacked by a great white off of the coast of southern Australia.

The first question on everyone’s mind was how Munn dealt with the deluge of information coming at him every day. Certainly, all of us are overwhelmed by how much material there is to consume on a daily basis, but this is especially true for those in the scientific community.

Although admittedly a little preoccupied, Munn responded, “It’s important to consider how interesting and relevant something has to be in order for it to be compelling.”

He went on to say, “Interest is not a binary concept. Something is not either interesting or not interesting; it’s more of a spectrum, and by extension, each of us has a threshold on that spectrum that a new experience has to exceed in order for us to want to pay attention to it. The same could be said of relevance, although the two are somewhat intertwined.

So, while the acquisition of knowledge is valuable for its own sake, the unfortunate reality is that we can’t simply be content to expose ourselves to new experiences in a random fashion. In modern life our attention is so fragmented that a new experience has pretty high bar to surpass in order for it to show up on our radar.”

To make this point more concretely, our reporter was quick to suggest that the rows of razor sharp teeth contained in the powerful jaws attempting to clamp onto Munn’s torso would serve as an excellent example.

“Yes,” said Munn, “This is definitely a new experience, which is necessary but not sufficient to make it worthy of consideration. In terms of its relevance to my professional goals, well, it’s certainly relevant to my continuing to have professional goals, so for that reason alone it’s something worth paying attention to.”

After a brief pause while he struggled to sink his thumb into the forty foot long carnivor’s eye socket, Munn continued, “It would be nice to be able to schedule things like this, but when viewed objectively you’d have to conclude that it falls into the category of things that are better dealt with as they come up. Let’s face it, it’s only going to get worse if I don’t come up with an appropriate response in its early stages.”

At press time, Munn was scanning the pages of a paper on sexual dimorphism in meiotic recombination, trying to find something that exceeded his threshold for interesting and relevant. He also noted that the railings outside his window had recently been painted and warranted being kept an eye on. Frankly, it was a toss up between the two.

Fully grown, 180lb apex predator, whining about paper cut

Ithaca, NY - Comfortably occupying the top spot in the food chain and lord of all he surveyed, local apex predator, Paul Munn, complained to reporters that his recent paper cut was really painful and seemed to rub against everything he touched.

Although vastly superior to many members of his own species in both strength and intellect, Munn appeared to be incapable of avoiding constantly irritating it, “Jesus! It’s in the worst place possible on the tip of my finger.”

Sources close to Munn reported that he was actually a huge wuss and total feeb'. “He always sits down to pee, he can’t drink more than two beers without getting a hangover, and God forbid you should have to be around him when he has a minor sore throat. You’d think he was dying.”

At press time, Munn was sucking the offending digit like a little baby, after striking a key too hard while writing this blog post.

I can see your house from here

From his vantage point on the edge of space, adventurer and daredevil Paul Munn, exclaimed to reporters “Wow, the view from up here is spectacular!” When pressed for further details he added, “Incredible. Simply breathtaking. I can see like a really, really long way... bloody cold though.”

After a brief pause he continued, “Ok - I’m feeling a bit sick. Going back in the capsule - let’s get this thing back on the ground.”

A brief exchange with his ground station ensued, after which Munn was overheard saying, “What’d ya’ mean I’m supposed to jump. I thought the parachute was just for emergencies!”

Another exchange elicited a long string of expletives from Munn, followed by an incredulous, “Hell no. HELL! NO! Nobody said anything about setting a world skydiving record!”

Malcolm Golding, director of the ground station spoke with reporters as events unfolded, “I knew this would happen... I just knew it.” Shaking his head and looking at the ground he added, “He’s in a capsule attached to a giant weather balloon, twenty three miles above the Earth... he’ll be up there for a very long time if he’s expecting us to help him out. Maybe he’ll freeze to death and then he’s not our problem anymore.”

At press time, “Ok, you guys are hilarious. Real funny. Seriously, joke’s over now - get me the fuck down from here!”

The many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics and the philosophical debate between Platonic realism and nominalism

Nairobi, Kenya - Acknowledging that he was at least lucky enough to have a plastic sheet on the roof of his corrugated metal shack, local slum dweller, Paul Munn, gazed despondently at the stretch of churned mud separating him from the nearby train tracks and speculated that, perhaps, in some parallel universe a version of himself lived in a real house.

“Maybe I’m married to a beautiful scientist, and we live together on a quiet little street with our dog and two cats,” Munn said to himself. “Yeah, that’d be nice,” he added, as he reflected upon the stray dog he had recently befriended and subsequently eaten.

Residents of neighboring hovels confirmed that this was by no means the first time Munn had pondered an alternate existence where he was rich enough to afford a car or two, and maybe a big, comfy bed, and even a gym membership.

“Hey, just a hot shower and a couple of decent meals would be a step in the right direction,” Munn lamented as he weakly brushed flies away from the sores on his legs.

At press time, in another parallel universe, President Munn signed an executive order to lock up all the scientists. “It’s for your own safety,” he said indignantly. “Come on people - have you never read Anathem?”. “Let’s lock up the atheists as well,” he added, “just in case.”

Miscommunication leads to dog being fed twice

Ithaca, NY - Sources confirmed this week, that, through a combination of deceit, lies of omission, and sad, innocent puppy eyes, local dog Bosco had managed to extort a second meal out of his clueless owner, Paul Munn, whom Bosco thinks of simply as “food guy”.

At press time, Bosco patiently endured the nightly humiliation of having to sit and wait until he was told to eat, all the time thinking that there was no way his distant wolf ancestors would’ve put up with this shit.